


all (I'm building up) you're tearing down

by sirenofodysseus



Series: Cavalier [3]
Category: The Mentalist
Genre: Accidents, Alternate Universe - Robots & Androids, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, apocalypse-y/n, crackish
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-27
Updated: 2015-10-27
Packaged: 2018-04-28 11:59:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,402
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5089940
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sirenofodysseus/pseuds/sirenofodysseus
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“I must say I’m thoroughly disappointed in you, right now,” Lorelei greeted him from the couch, as Craig hurried into the room. “You lasted only seven minutes with pretty boy? I was expecting to have this room to myself all night too.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	all (I'm building up) you're tearing down

**Author's Note:**

> Covering my H/C bingo square, "accidents". Oh, how much I love these characters. <3

            “Have you seen Wainwright lately?” Lisbon asked Haffner, who glanced over his leather-bound book at her from ‘his’ desk.

            “No, but do I _look_ like I keep track of you all?” His eyes disappeared back into the book and Lisbon grimaced, before she crossed her arms against her chest. “In case you weren’t completely aware, Teresa, this safe house is gigantic. I don’t even know all of the rooms.”

            “No, really?” Lisbon dryly asked. “Please tell me something else I don’t know, Ray.” She watched him place his book (slowly) down on his desk, his lips pressed together in a disapproving frown.

            “The Capital of Lithuania is Vilnius.”

            “What?”

            “You asked me to tell you something you didn’t know.” Haffner’s lips twitched. “Hence the Capital of Lithuania is Vilnius. You’re welcome, Teresa.” Unamused, she uncrossed her arms. It was one thing for him to yank her chain during a murder investigation, mainly because she could haul his ass into the interrogation room and slap him with an impeding justice charge; but it was a completely different situation when she had absolutely no power in this new world.

            “Goddamn it, Ray! I don’t like this either, but Wainwright _is_ one of us.”  

            “When you say _us_ , Teresa,” Haffner said, placing his book down to eye her. “Do you mean, like you and I, that he’s an adult?” Lisbon continued to grimace. “Because I don’t exactly see Agent Wainwright as an _adult_ , per say.”

            “You know what I mean, Ray,” Lisbon replied, staring him down. Haffner’s lips twitched and he leaned forward in his seat, only to clasp his hands together on the desk. “If you make me say it, I will beat you unconscious.”  

            Haffner glanced at her in mock-alarm. “Anarchy is _not_ the way to go, Teresa, especially in our current circumstances. I assure you of that much.” Lisbon made a reach for the book and Haffner tsked at her, warningly. “If I didn’t know any better; I would say that you have _feelings_ for the child-agent.”

            Lisbon bristled and rolled her eyes, before sarcastically adding, “I apologize for actually being a _decent_ human being, unlike you.” She heard Haffner snort. “Oh, go to hell already.”

            “In case you also haven’t realized it, Teresa,” Haffner answered her with a small smile. “We’re already halfway there.”  

 

::::

 

            “I must say I’m thoroughly disappointed in you, right now,” Lorelei greeted him from the couch, as Craig hurried into the room. “You lasted _only_ seven minutes with pretty boy? I was expecting to have this room to myself all night too.” She pouted for a moment, before Craig roughly latched onto her elbow and yanked her off the couch. Never one to be the victim, Lorelei slammed her knee into his crouch. He immediately crumbled to his knees. “You fucker. I _warned_ you about the forceful grabbing too, didn’t I?”

            “Screwed up,” Craig rasped out.

            “When _isn’t_ that the case?” Lorelei asked, crossing her arms against her chest. The idiot had not only _failed_ in attempting to kill his fiancée, but he had apparently also failed in fucking _Luther Wainwright_. If Lorelei hadn’t been so _pissed_ with him, she would have laughed at his idiocy.

            “No…” Craig croaked and Lorelei eyed him. “I…god…broom…”

            “You _what_?” Lorelei exclaimed, bending down on her knees to understand him. “I don’t think I heard you correctly.”

            “I…impaled…accident…”

            “Damnit, Craig,” Lorelei muttered. “You _impaled_ him? Is even _still_ alive?” She watched Craig’s head bob up and down, before she sighed and yanked him off his knees. “You’re coming with me, you idiot. We’re going to fix this, before the Wonder Twins find out what you’ve done.”

 

::::

 

            “You knew he’d probably dodge all of your questions, boss,” Grace told her, after Lisbon had explained Haffner’s reaction to Wainwright’s abrupt disappearance. Lisbon shrugged her shoulders at Grace’s response. She had realized, long before she had stepped into Haffner’s “claimed” area that he probably wasn’t going to be the _most_ charitable of answer-givers. However, her concern for Wainwright’s disappearance outweighed everything else. “If something bad has happened to him, wouldn’t we hear screaming? Or robotic noises?”

            Lisbon side-eyed her. “This is a Visualize safe house, Van Pelt.” Grace’s eyes widened. “Do you _honestly_ believe they wouldn’t soundproof particular rooms, in case of torture?”

            “Do you think they’re torturing him?”

            “No,” Lisbon immediately dismissed Grace’s thought. “I was thinking that _if_ one of those things outside somehow managed to get into the house, they could have dragged Wainwright off.” Grace blanched. “Exactly. Now, come on. We’re going to do a little investigating of our own.”

 

::::

 

Wainwright balefully glared at Martins, as she worked at bandaging his shoulder wound. O’Laughlin lingered behind her and every so often, he would cringe at her muttered curses.

“Congratulations, Craig,” Martins dryly commented, her voice finally above a whisper. “You’ve _finally_ managed to injure someone, while attempting to _thank_ them.” Wainwright studied Martins’ eye roll with a look of his own, before she glanced toward him. “You’ll live, unfortunately.”

“Well, thanks,” Wainwright managed. O’Laughlin flinched behind her. “For a moment there, I actually thought _you_ bothcared about me.” Martins pulled at the white (red-tinged) bandages and he hissed at her.

“If you’d actually be a good patient and be quiet, I wouldn’t hurt you as much,” Martins answered and Wainwright kept glaring. “Keep glaring and see what I do, _pretty boy_. I could have just allowed for you to bleed out all over the floor.”

O’Laughlin gaped at her. “You wouldn’t.”

“I would,” Martins answered without pause, before she tightened the bandage again. “I could unbandage this wound right now and walk out, knowing he’d _die_ because _someone_ never learned proper first-aid procedures.” Martins eyed O’Laughlin. “Life’s a bitch, isn’t it?”

“Uh, yeah,” Wainwright interjected and both of them stared at him. “I hate to interject here, but in case you’ve forgotten, I was _just_ impaled with a broom handle.” He shook his head. It sounded ridiculousto comment about the state of his shoulder, especially when O’Laughlin had watched—caused it to—happen.

“And as I told you, Luther,” Martins replied. “You’ll live, _as long as_ you keep this little secret between the three of us.” He heard her foot tap against the tile. “You say anything to the Wonder Twins and I _promise_ that you’ll suffer.”

“I don’t think I’ll need to say anything, Martins,” Wainwright answered and she eyed him. “Because bloody clothes and the _white bandage_ around my _shoulder_ doesn’tscream I have an injury.”

“Cheeky bastard,” Martins muttered.

“He is, isn’t he?” O’Laughlin asked with a smile. Wainwright grimaced. “No need for the third-degree stares, Wainwright. We’re doing you a solid favor here by not allowing you to die.”

“And who said you’re _leaving_ this closet in those clothes?” Martins asked, crossing her arms against her chest while she smirked. “Idiot, remove your shirt. Luther, try not to blush.”

Wainwright roughly swallowed.

 

::::

 

“Heard from a little birdie that you were looking for your brunet master,” Martins idly commented to Lisbon and Grace, who both paused mid-step to gawk at the Red John follower. “No worries, _Agents_. He’s just _blowing_ off a bit of steam, in one of the supply closets near Haffner’s bedroom.”  

Lisbon crossed her arms against her chest. “There’s a difference between my CBI _boss_ and your homicidal serial killer _master_.”

Martins snorted. “Potato, Pahtato.” Grace grimaced. “No smile for me, Agent? I obviously discovered the location of your _missing_ agent, and all I get is this hostility?” Martins shook her head, before she sighed. “Nobody appreciates good help these days, I suppose, but you’re still _extremely_ welcome.” Before they could respond, Martins disappeared around the corner forcing Lisbon to roll her eyes.

“What do you think she means by blowing off steam?” Grace asked Lisbon. Lisbon shrugged again.

“Who knows?”

 

::::

 

Outside _the_ supply closet, Grace and Lisbon realized Martins’ _blowing off a bit of steam_ comment was obviously a euphemism at Wainwright’s guttural moan.

            “God, help me,” Lisbon muttered, noticing that Grace had taken on a slight green tint at the noises from within the supply closet. “I did _not_ need this today.”

            “I think I’m going to be sick,” Grace replied quietly. Lisbon nodded in agreement, both of them still hearing the sounds of both Wainwright _and_ O’Laughlin behind the closed door. “I…let’s just…no…” Lisbon eyed Grace’s shudder.

            “Let’s just not talk about this again, okay?”

            “Okay.” 


End file.
